One Week Old -- Time Flies!

This last week since Livvie was born could go down in history as the fastest week on record. I feel like we just brought her home yesterday, when in fact it was a week ago today. This week has not been without its bumps in the road.

Olivia HATES nursing. I bring her to my breast and it doesn't matter if she's slightly hungry or starving, she will scream bloody murder, arch her back and push herself away from me. She will not even try to latch on. So I pumped every 3 hours while David fed the expressed breast milk to her at the same time so we could be on the same schedule in the event that we worked out the latching thing. We also supplemented with formula.

I went to visit with a Lactation Consultant on Tuesday and she was wonderful. She got Livvie to latch on with the help of a nipple shield and she actually nursed for 20 minutes. She gave us a bunch of "homework" to do and made a follow up visit for Friday. Yesterday we worked on our homework. She latched on and nursed for 25 minutes or so in the morning. Yesterday afternoon we tried again, but it started to feel like she was biting. I noticed that the shield wasn't drawing enough of the nipple forward so she was getting a bad latch. We tried several more times, but each time it felt like a bunch of tiny knives stabbing me. I continued pumping until last night when I noticed a few little drops of blood on the flange of the breast pump. Then I was done. My mom had called as I was cleaning up, and I talked to her about it. As it turns out, she quit breastfeeding me early for the same reasons: poor latching, pain, bleeding. I felt much better finally making the decision that David and I had been discussing for the past couple of days: I'm no longer going to nurse. Olivia does just fine on formula and it makes all three of us happy. Finding out that I was formula-fed made me feel much better. I never had any major health problems to speak of in childhood, and I was in the top of my class all through school, so I know that formula vs. breast milk doesn't have any major effects on brain development (at least in my case).

Since making this decision last night, we have all been able to sleep better. I enjoy feeding my daughter now; I had gotten to the point that I absolutely dreaded feeding time. I think Livvie can sense my new found sense of calm because she's much calmer at feeding time too. It is the best decision for both of us. Who knows, I may try nursing again with a future baby; or maybe not. Only time will tell.