The wait might do me in...

Our embryo transfer was Friday the 14th. That morning, David and I reported to the fertility clinic where we changed into gown (me) and scrubs (him). He was in the room with me for the whole procedure, which was great. The doctor came in and said our 4 little embryos looked perfect. They divided beautifully and everything. He said that a lot of couples may have many embryos, but don't have many that look like ours; he says they'll be fragmented or other non-normal division. Hopefully quality wins out over quantity. He told us that he usually doesn't recommend freezing when there are only two embryos left; he said the odds of achieving a successful pregnancy after transfer are only around 20%. Well, we figure 20% is the chance that a normal couple has of conceiving in any given month, so we'll take those odds. No one is being left behind.

We spent the first of our two weeks on vacation in Florida. We really needed it and it was wonderful. We went to the beach almost everyday and relaxed. David was very protective; it's like he's already in expectant father mode. He packed the whole car and didn't let me lift anything heavier than a pillow. He made sure we didn't stay out in the sun too long; and I took a nap every day we were on the island.

As far as the waiting goes, it's hellish. I go through the day pretty well and I try to keep my mind off the wondering and the wait. It's REALLY hard not to dwell on every little twinge (or lack thereof) and try to interpret what it could mean. I find the most difficult time of the day is when I lay down at night to sleep. My mind starts to race and I have a mini panic attack that the procedure did not work at all. I am really trying to stop this...it doesn't do anyone any good. Friday is the day of reckoning, so to speak. We go for a blood test that morning to find out if I'm pregnant. I just wish I didn't have to go to work that day. It's going to be really difficult not only to wait for that phone call from the office, but also to handle the results regardless of what they are. I really want the first person that knows to be David, but I don't want to tell him over the phone. It's going to have to be that way though.

Think baby thoughts really hard!!